Bella's Journey

I am anxious at work…. wondering how she is…

I got a call from the vet… she came through surgery fine… she’s waking up… you can pick her up after 4.

I updated on Facebook… thrilled that her days of feeling like *!$#% are almost over.

We arrived to pick up Bella.  My husband and I were asked to come into the “sitting” room so we could go over everything with the Doc.

He came in and said she did fine… but after he took her leg off he took a closer look at the plagued leg.  “it looked suspicious” he said… so I did Chest X-rays…..

there  is a tumor.   My hands went to my forehead and my eyes welled up…. I looked down and tried not to let everyone see me.  I said a bad word.  My newly found friend at the clinic (jade) came over and tried to comfort me… offered me kleenex.

What?  What is happening here?…. I thought we did chest x-rays when we did the biopsy… and it was clear?   That was only 4 weeks ago.  What the heck??   My greatest fear had reared her ugly head again…. damn you cancer.  How big is the tumor?  They said it was about the size of a ping pong ball… that big.. ..? is it growing that fast… ?   4 weeks ago we didn’t see it and now it’s there… holy crap… this is not good… not good….. (it’s behind her heart, in front of her lungs – it’s not in her lungs yet.)

He lowered our bill because he said he should’ve done the chest xrays again before he amputated (totally awesome of him to do)… and that we might have made a different decision with that information.  True.  But honestly, I’m glad that it worked out THIS way.  Bella has been given more time and so have I. ….So I have been googling everything and the very first thing that popped up when I was searching was Tripawds.com and the Tripawds facebook page.  Thank goodness for this resource!  I have started feeding her new food.  I’ve been trying the Flax seed oil and cottage cheese – Budwig diet.  I can’t sit back and watch her die…… not without trying to help her. 

So to answer some of your questions….. we do not know for sure that it’s cancer.  We are assuming that it is based on the chest tumor and leg and their relationship.

It sucks because all this time caring for her…. we’ve bonded and developed a better, closer relationship….. and now I’m faced with losing it sooner than later. 

You know…. 2 weeks ago…she was so sick that I might’ve had to euthanize (yes… she was that bad).  I’m glad we didn’t know about the chest tumor.  My vet is right… we may have made a different decision that day… I really don’t like to think about it…because I wouldn’t have wanted to do it…..(euthanize).  You see my husband and I don’t quite see eye to eye on that, so we may have had to make a decision that was best for the family that day…. that revolved around $.  My husband would see it like this… “We cannot justify spending $700 to amputate her leg to give her a few more months to live.”  …You see I do understand that.. as much as I would’ve hated it!(and cried and laid in bed depressed for weeks). 

I made the decision April 13th to take her leg because bella’s doc and I didn’t think it was cancer.  I thought that once that leg was off… we would be home free.!  So in my eyes this played out the way it did for a reason. 

To date……She is the happiest little girl I’ve seen in a long time.!  She is playful, silly, dopey (she’s always been dopey), dippy, hippity-hoppity, loving, social…. just joyous to see her this way.  We have discovered the dog park in town…. Bella loves it!!  I took her on her 2 week ampuversary…. I met my friend Jade (my new friend from the Vet office) and her Bloodhound at the dog park… Bella had her staples and stiches removed just 2 days prior.  I watched Bella go up to fellow dog owners and lean on them so they’d pet her… lol…. it was so cute… then just before we left the dog park… I watched my 3 legged Bella chase a dog full throttle 2 different times.  I was laughing and cheering her on… and jumping up and down… did you see that, I asked Jade?? Bella doesn’t care that she “only has three legs” – she gets around like it’s no big deal… and it isn’t… !       Today…..My down to earth 12 year old daughter commented how thrilling it is to see Bella like this….. she said it was like she’d eaten a rainbow.